Steps to Finding yourself.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson.

How to be yourself?

Take the time to get to know yourself. Observe how you talk to yourself. Observe the chatter in your mind. How much of it is negative and how much positive. Make notes of the patterns that are in play and what your “anthem” is. Are they positive loving thoughts or are they negative thoughts? Identify where they come from. Most often they would come from your parents and the influences during your childhood. Identify your voice on a topic. You can allow yourself to think for yourself and have your own thoughts.

Learn to be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. Learn from your past mistakes, so that you do not repeat them. Mistakes and failures are lessons to teach you how to do things differently in the future. Know that everyone makes mistakes. It’s how you learn from them and consciously change your habits and beliefs so as not to repeat them that leads to self-awareness and growth.

Be aware of triggers. Certain people or behaviors elicit certain responses from us. Observe and identify them and see what hurts or pains you and triggers you into reacting negatively. Look within and see what the reason for you getting upset over something is related to. What we see in others is a reflection of something we see inside of ourselves. So often when we see negative traits of others, it is a reflection of our own. It is a projection that is much easier to see in others than to see in ourselves. Because when we see it in ourselves, we have to do something about it. This is actually a mirror that shows you what it is you have to work on personally.

Live in gratitude. Learn to be grateful for all that you have in life and who you are as a person. Play to your strengths. Appreciate the people around you, appreciate the love you receive. Even if you have tough relationships or financial issues, show gratitude for what lessons they bring. Our greatest learning and insight come from pain. The easiest way to figure out what you want is by knowing what you don’t want.

Learn to prioritize yourself. It’s only when you love and respect yourself that you can do the same to others. Value yourself and do things for yourself. If your fuel tank is running on low or empty, how can you give of yourself to others? Self-care is important. Do things that make you happy. Set time aside for yourself where you can do things for your betterment. Eg. Exercising, eating healthy, taking time to do things that bring you joy and promote self-growth. Revisit old hobbies or start new ones.

Be confident with who you are. Have faith in yourself. Believing in yourself to do something or be someone comes from within you. Often the fear of rejection, a fear of failure, a belief of not being good enough, and more keeps us from achieving our goals. The only one that can overcome these fears is you. Set goals for yourself on what you want to achieve. Find out what stops you. Face your fears. The fewer people you discuss your plans with the better, or they may transfer their fears to you as well. Face your fears and overcome them.

Strive to achieve your goals. Achieving your goals gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment which grows your confidence and happiness. Work towards your goals, no matter what! Your success in achieving your goals will open new portals for your confidence and happiness and give you insights into your capabilities.